We were once friends
by Sumei1
Summary: If you found your best friend was a werewolf and you'd been taught prejudices against them, would you really accept him into open arms? My realistic take on how the marauders reacted to Remus being a werewolf. Slight angst. Disclaimer: All ideas and characters related to Harry Potter is owned by J.K Rowling.
1. She knows

**Chapter 1**

**Normal perspective**

Remus Lupin headed back to his dorm, limping on his right leg. When people passed by, his hurriedly put a strained amount of weight on his leg to make it look like he wasn't limping. Most people didn't notice at all, and didn't give him a second glance. To them, he was just a little bookworm, teacher's pet, and practically unnoticeable. But really, he was much more.

He was constantly shivering slightly, in fear of what would happen when they found out.

_They will abandon you like the filth you are. You do not deserve to have friends_, the wolf told him. Remus tried to ignore the voice, but he couldn't help but agree a little bit. People that were untainted shouldn't have to be around him. He was a _monster. _Monsters didn't have friends.

Friends . . . Remus smiled a little bit. He _had _found people who wanted to be friends with him. Maybe not when they found out who he was, but they treated him nicely, and didn't look at him with looks of disgust . . . yet. A frown wiggled onto his face when he remembered good things were not to be attached too much to. They always ended.

All through his childhood, he was kept away from the other children and was constantly told that he was a monster—one that deserved to die. The only thing from preventing him from going completely suicidal and depressed was his mother. She would stay outside his room on full moons, and comfort him afterwards. Remus believed he didn't deserve that, but she insisted he was not a monster: _you are a little boy Remus. You did not deserve this curse_.

"_Dancing hinkipunks_," Remus announced to the fat lady. She gestured politely, and the portrait swung open. In the common room, he resisted the urge to collapse on the couch out of sheer exhaustion—somewhat.

Remus sat down on the soft chair by the warm fireplace and told himself he would only sit down for a while to replenish his strength—the walk up from the hospital wing had tired him even more. He closed his eyes slowly and let himself soak in the warm heat that was pulsing from the fire. Suddenly, his lids felt like lead, and he fell into the darkness called sleep.

After the monthly transformations, Remus usually was exhausted, which was proved when Lily Evans discovered Remus sleeping on the couch. She hesitantly shook his shoulder, "Remus?"

In reply she got a groan, and Remus rolled slightly to the side, away from her.

Lily sighed in exasperation, "_Remus_!" She prodded her ribs until he was jolted awake by a rather impatient Lily. "Morning sunshine!" Lily chirped. Remus moaned in reply—he felt horrible after the tiring stress his body had been put under and did not feel anything as energetic as the sun.

"Wha?" He mumbled.

"Remus, it's almost eight, breakfast is almost done," Lily said.

Remus snapped up, "Did I miss class?! I've already missed enough classes!" He groaned and flopped back down on the couch.

"Geez," Lily was a bit surprised at Remus's reaction. Sure he missed classes once every month so he could visit his sick mum, but besides that . . . . She remembered Sev's accusation.

_"Lily, somethings odd about that Lupin kid. Where does he escape every month?" Severus "Sev" Snape asked as they watched the giant squid make it's way across the lake._

_"He visits his sick mother," Lily said, wasn't it obvious? Well . . . that's was he said._

_"That's highly unlikely, anyways, whatever it is, Potter, Black, and Pettigrew are oblivious of it," Sev said airily, seemingly pleased that he was the first one to notice it._  


_"But what else is it, if it isn't his mother?" Lily asked, getting curious now._

_"He's a," Sev lowered his voice, "Werewolf."_

_"Werewolf?" Lily asked with great disbelief. She also took note of how Sev's voice seemed to be laced with disgust when he called Remus a werewolf. How could kind, shy Remus be a werewolf? They were dark creatures, and Remus was defiantly not the killer type._

_"It fits, every time he leaves it's on the full moon, and he looks sick enough that it might as well be him that's the ill one, not his mum. But it fits—usually werewolves are like that during the full moon," Sev said. Lily tried to ignore the ring of truth of his words, but she wanted a real answer for once. She didn't like seeing all the cuts and bruises Remus would come back every visit._

Lily was still staring at Remus in a weird way for quite a while, so Remus was starting to get worried. Does she know? He asked the wolf. _Nah, she doesn't know. She'd be running in terror if she did_, the wolf snickered at Remus's saddened reaction.

"Um . . . Remus . . ." Lily started. Okay, she was going to do it this time, she was going to ask him where he went and then there would be no more unknown worrying.

Fear gripped Remus—she knew! He knew that she knew. _Wait for it . . . _the wolf sneered, _just wait kid, she'll be screaming and running soon_. Suddenly Remus felt ashamed. He had studied and talked with Lily . . . he had no right to. He was filth—nothing more. A monster. A killer.

"A-are you a werewolf?" Lily's voice quivered. They had different reactions to it. Remus assumed it was because she was finally realizing what a monster he was and he braced himself for the talk: _I'm sorry Remus, but I can't stand to be friends with such a piece of filth such as you, _Remus could already hear the words.

Lily was actually, in reality, shaking with worry for Remus. Would he be all right? Would he trust her? In a dry moment of humor, she thought of this being an activity: _the world's most challenging trust activity! _She hoped Remus knew that she wouldn't judge him—she was a muggle-born, she knew what it was like to be prejudiced against by the wizarding world. Except he probably had it a lot worse.

Remus sighed inwardly, this friendship had been nice while it lasted. Only two years . . . Remus had hoped at least it would've lasted longer. She at least deserved the truth, "Yes. I am a w-werewolf. I am a monster," Remus bowed his head in shame, expecting the harsh tone that would follow.

Pain seared through his cheek. Lily Evans . . . had . . . had slapped him! Oh yes, he got a harsh tone, but it was not of what he expected. "Remus. John. Lupin. _Don't you even dare call yourself that! You are a little boy! _You didn't deserve that," Lily said more quietly.

Remus remembered his mother's words: _You are a little boy. You do not deserve this curse_. The pain barely registered though, his brain was currently digesting what Lily had said. Lily had . . . accepted him. A warm feeling spread through him. Acceptance . . . it was like a warm hug that enveloped you and lifted your worries away. "S-so you don't care that I'm a m—" Remus quickly stopped saying _monster_ as Lily sent him a venomous look.

"Well," she smiled brightly, "Shall we go to breakfast?"

And for once in his life, the wolf was shocked. _S-she accepted me. She accepted us! _a little triumph was shown in it's voice. Remus smiled to himself, she's different isn't she? And he and the wolf for the first time ever, agreed that Lily Evans . . . she was amazing.

And that was the start of a friendship that would eventually be more important than they ever had imagined.


	2. React

**Chapter 2**

**Remus's perspective**

After that morning, Lily and I still studied together, but now we hung out together other than just then. Now we had a friendship.

I walked up the stairs after the early breakfast with Lily, and when I went back into the dorm, James, Sirius, and Peter were staring at me. Did they know? But James's expression said otherwise—I doubted James would be jealous of me being a werewolf.

"Why does she hang out with you?" He grumbled.

Oh. That's what he was being annoyed about. "Lily hangs out with me because I don't bother her constantly," I replied.

"But she should be honored!" James said, offended.

"Oh yes, I can't possibly _imagine_ why she wouldn't want to be with you James! You're absolutely _perfect_," Sirius said in a girly voice.

"S-shove off mate!" James said, face getting slightly red. "Ah, well then . . . " He mused up his hair. "Where _is_ Evans?"

Due to my friendship with Lily, I was hesitant to tell James her location, but then he started making big puppy-dog eyes. His brown eyes quivered and I realized he was about to cry. "Fine—fine! She's by the lake," I grumbled. James immediately bounced up, fake-tears forgotten and I was annoyed to find they were fake.

"Thanks mate!" James rushed out the door. The fat lady screeched from downstairs as James slammed the portrait shut to get to Lily.

Sirius looked at me in shock, "How did you not see that?"

_Maybe because it's the weekend before the full moon_, I wanted to yell, but instead I swallowed my annoyance, "I don't know." With the full moon nearing, my temper was easily provoked and I had to give as little evidence as possible.

_They will leave you. Just you wait_, the Wolf snickered. _The red-head is only so kind because she doesn't realize what a monster you are . . . . _

_Shut up! _I yelled in my head. _Be quiet you little—!_

_We are the same. I am you as much as you are me,_ the Wolf snarled. _You will never be free of me!_

I shivered. I looked at the dorm and I saw Peter had not yet woken up and Sirius was back, snoring in his bunk. I had friends here. They wouldn't leave me. I knew they wouldn't. That's what friends were for right?

_What about your other so called friends?_ The Wolf sneered. _They all left you_._ You are alone._

Was I really alone?

* * *

"You should do it Remus," Lily said encouragingly.

"B-but—" I was cut off.

"You trust them right?" Lily said expectantly.

I paused. Sure, I trusted them, but what would happen once they found out?

_They will hate you and scorn you, and look back and wonder how they could be friends with a monster like you_, the Wolf sneered in my head.

"Yes, I do . . ." I said.

"Then _tell_ them," Lily smiled at me, green eyes flashing. "And if it doesn't work out, then I'll be there."

"Tell who what?" Sirius said cheerfully, sneaking up behind Lily and I. They must've gotten up for breakfast early—it was eight in the morning. Of course it was a weekend—never in my right mind would I skip class.

"Nothing . . ." I started until I caught Lily's eye. She nodded quickly and smiled. I scanned the small crowd that had come—Sirius, Peter, and James. What had gotten them up? "Err, I need to tell you guys something . . . ."

"Sure," James said, he stood up and grabbed my arm. "Let's go!"

Lily stifled laughter at my face. "Bye Remus!"

"Date me later Evans!" James yelled back at the door once we were out of the Great Hall and I could practically hear Lily's groan.

"Toss me off the astronomy tower first Potter!" She yelled back.

"See—doesn't she adore me?" James grinned broadly as we made it up the moving stair-cases to the dorm.

"I think your really ticking her off mate," Sirius warned, but he couldn't stop grinning.

"_Dancing hinkipunks_," Peter said to the fat lady.

"All right, come in," the lady said, slightly flustered at his demanding tone. The portrait swung open and the Marauders piled into the common room.

"Well?" Sirius asked, grey eyes showing how bored he was.

"Erm . . . not here, in the dorm," I looked around cautiously, making sure no one would hear.

Grey, brown, and honey colored eyes sparkled in interest. I hoped to high heaven that I had made the right choice.

We walked up the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Upon opening our door I sat down and hesitantly I breathed in slowly. Why was this so hard? With Lily it had been difficult sure, but she had come up and accused him, and was understanding. Sirius, James, and Peter though, were staring at me like a piece of prey that they were waiting to see if I would be entertaining enough before they killed me.

"Well . . . guys . . ." the words got jumbled in my throat and out in one fast breath. "Wellimawerewolfyouseepleasedonthateme . . . ."

"_What_?" Sirius yelped. Evidently he had caught nothing of what I said, and I would have to say my confession . . . slower.

"Well, I-I'm a . . ." I paused and fear clenched me. Would they accept me? _Just get on with it!_ the Wolf growled, and I realized it was just as nervous too. In a way, the Wolf had been right—we are the same. We have the same fears, same accomplishments, same life. " . . . _w__erewolf_," I whispered at last.

My friends' faces were blank. I couldn't read their emotions.

After a while, Sirius broke the silence. "So . . . that's where you go." He started to chuckle softly. Then it grew, until he was practically howling with chaotic laughter. "How could we have not noticed?" If it had been a physical being, the Wolf would've been cowering. A angry Sirius was not someone to mess with.

Fear gripped me. What was happening? How could I have been so wrong.

"How could we have not noticed that we were being friends with a _monster_!" Sirius snarled, grey eyes livid with hate.


	3. Shattered heart

**Chapter 3**

**Lily's perspective**

It was morning and I was already heading down to breakfast.

Something was wrong though—there was an empty space beside me. Remus was usually always up at this time, and he and I would walk down to the Great Hall together. Where was he? I hoped the boys hadn't been too hard on him, he'd put his trust in them, and he deserved to be treated no less for what happened to him.

It's not like he begged to be bitten right?

At the Great Hall while I was spreading jam on my toast, when I saw Remus walking down. He had dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept and his eyes were red rimmed from . . . crying? My brow furrowed in worry, what had happened?

"Remus," I stood up quickly and walked briskly over to him. Using the sleeve of my Hogwarts uniform, I wiped the tear stains form his cheeks.

"Hi . . . Lily," his voice was dull and tired.

"Remus . . . I'm so sorry! What happened?" I hugged him, and made sure not to hold on too tight so I wouldn't suffocate him in a mass of red hair.

"They . . . aren't ready I guess. They had all the right to act the way they did though . . ." Remus said sadly. Not only had the boys rejected Remus, but they had lowered his self-esteem as well. I clenched my fists—bashing in Potter's face sounded really good right now.

"You aren't a monster Remus," I whispered comfortingly, ignoring some of the stares from people. Remus had trusted his friends and instead they had called him a monster, when _they_ were like the monsters._  
_

"But I never said—" He protested.

"You _thought_ it and that's good enough," I said sternly. "Anyways let's go and—" My gaze narrowed as I saw the three boys enter the Great Hall.

Potter and Black sent disgusted looks at Remus and Potter strutted up to me. "So, will you go out with me Evans. You don't want to hang out with the likes of _him_," he glanced at Remus with distaste.

He was doing this all because Remus being a werewolf. "I will not leave him behind you little arrogant, annoying, fat-headed git!" I snarled, I could've gone on, but for Remus's sake, I decided to cut it short.

I grabbed his hand and stormed out of the Great Hall.

* * *

**Remus's perspective**

Lily . . . she was really something.

"You didn't have to do that," I whispered to her once we had found a study-table in the library.

"They had no right to treat you like that!" Lily said, eyes flaring with green fire.

_Sirius's face was disgust, Peter looked like he couldn't believe he'd lied, and James's was fear like I would jump up and eat him._

_"Guys . . ." I held out my hand sadly._

_Peter scrambled away, "W-werewolf! Get away from me!" My heart cracked. Was this really what they thought? I looked into his eyes and they were huge, pupils dilated in fear. I could trace a bead of sweat that was making it down his forehead. _

_I looked at James and Sirius. "How could you have been our friend?" James snarled. "You were trying to get us to go soft, then you'd kill us!" He accused. Another crack. I felt my eyes moisten. _

_"You're nothing but a monster," Sirius glared when he saw my tears that were threatened to spill. "Monsters have no feelings—stop with the act." A chip made its way loose. This time I didn't stop the wet tear from making it's way down my face._

_"Get out of here!" Peter finally got over his fear once he realized I wouldn't fight back. I never would, no matter how badly they treated me, they would always hold a spot in my heart, considering if it stayed in tact. "No animals in the dorms!" That insult hurt bad. Another chunk fell._

_I stood up hesitantly, and then Sirius walked up and shoved me out. "Get out—your nothing but a demon!" The last crack. My heart shattered. As the door slammed shut with an ominous thud, I let the tears finally fall with no restraint. _

_Dragging my feet, I sat on the couch and shifted around, trying to get comfortable. This would probably be my new 'bed'. I watched the flames, crackling and dancing around. So free, and unhindered by others opinions. Maybe someday I'd learn to be so free, but for now I was alone. Except . . .for Lily. At least there was one thing to keep me._

"Maybe they did," I said softly to Lily.

For once, the Wolf was silent. For all its jeering to make me depressed, it didn't seem very fond of our situation. Maybe the Wolf had really been hoping for friends too.

"No they didn't Remus," Lily demanded.

"But you've never seen . . . I'm _dangerous_ Lily," I said, frustration pouring into my voice. She didn't know what the Wolf could do. I could hurt people. I could _kill_ people. Not that I ever had before, but I'd had nightmares about doing it by accident.

"Are you really? Or are you trying to just tell yourself that?" Lily demanded. "You've always taken safety precautions to make sure no one's injured. You are _far_ from dangerous," Lily insisted. With that, she stood up and waved. "Sorry, I have to go and meet Sev."

I nodded, even Lily, a muggle-born had more friends than me. I stared at the charms section of the library, maybe I could catch up with it. I raised my hand in farewell to Lily. "See you later," I said softly.

"Don't be so hard on yourself Remus," Lily said, and after resting her hand on my shoulder for a few seconds she withdrew her comforting hand. Once she lifted her hand, I stayed in the same place, but I couldn't help but notice my shoulder felt cold without it. Cold and alone. Once more, I was left with the chore with sweeping up and remaking my broken heart.

* * *

**Ah, I feel so sorry for Remus. Well, post your reactions in the reviews please (I want to see how I did with doing emotions) and say if I got any emotional reactions. I'm working on doing more emotional writing as it usually makes the story more interesting in my opinion.**

**Also, does anyone think my chapters are too short? I've made each one in my stories at least 1,000 words, but I look at other fanfiction chapters and it seems really short.**


	4. The insults that burn

**Thank you peoples for favoriting and following this story! ;) Anyways, onward:**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Remus's perspective**

A shoulder bumped into me violently in the hallway and the books in my arms crashed to the floor. After a few weeks of _their_ torments, I'd gotten used to it, but now they were growing bold—they'd never interfered with my class schedules before. But now, they were purposely making me tardy.

I cursed under my breath—now I would be late for transfiguration. I crouched down and started picking up my textbooks. I looked up briefly and saw Sirius smirking at me. "Can't it even hold its books?" he sneered. James laughed coldly and I felt despair choke me until a certain red-head bent down next to me.

"It'll be okay Remus," she murmured under her breath. "Professor will understand." I hoped, but non of the other Gryffindors were supposed to know about my condition. Finally the books had been stacked neatly and placed in my arms. As quickly as one could with a armload of books, we rushed to the transfiguration classroom.

"Sorry we're late Professor," I wheezed through gasps.

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow at us and nodded reluctantly. She let it slide as we were her two favorite students. We sat next to each other in the class, and I felt the searing glares of James at the back of my neck. Sure, he'd been jealous of me with Lily before, but now that he knew I was a werewolf . . . .

"Today we will learn about animigus and werewolves and how they differ," she started. "Who can tell me what an animigus is?"

Lily's hand shot up almost at the same time as mine.

"Miss Evans," she nodded at her.

"An animagus is a witch or wizard with the rare ability to transform into a particular animal at will. The animagus spell is very difficult and dangerous to perform, which is one reason that all animagi are required to be registered by the Ministry of Magic," Lily recited from memory, getting the textbook's description correct, word for word.

"Excellent, five points to Gryffindor," Professor McGonagall announced. "Now, Mister Potter, werewolves."

James faked a look of indifference. "Werewolves are poeple," I noticed he refused to say 'humans'. "Who at every full moon turn into a wolf. They are dangerous and vicious creatures and are tracked by the Ministry to make sure other people are hurt," James glared meaningfully at me. I winced inwardly.

Professor McGonagall looked slightly disturbed at James's description of werewolves and she looked at Sirius. "Please explain the things that single out werewolves from normal wolves mister Black."

"They have shorter snouts, human-like eyes, tufted tail, and their lust to kill humans above all," Sirius said coldly.

She looked thoroughly shocked at Sirius and James's understanding and hatred of werewolves. She sighed wearily, "Five points as well."

I looked sideways, and I saw Lily had a concerned face and she was biting her lip in anxiety.

"Ah, miss Evans please explain how werewolves differ from animigi," Professor McGonagall instructed.

"Animigi can control when they change into animals, while werewolves have no control over when they change, or what they do while in their wolf forms," Lily said quickly, and I could tell pretty much everyone was just waiting for the lesson to just _end_ already.

After Professor McGonagall handed out an essay about the topic that was due the next week, she sat down at her desk. "Class dismissed."

* * *

**Sirius's perspective**

How dare he?

Acting like he was one of _us_, Lupin walked out of the classroom, accompanied by Lily. I could feel James tense up as he saw Lily and Lupin.

"She probably doesn't even know about what _it_ is," James said, trying to reassure himself.

"Yeah mate," Peter said encouragingly, while James completely ignored him.

"Let's go to the common room and give Loopy a surprise," I snarled. Loopy Lupin—it fit. He maybe was a monster, and monsters didn't deserve _human_ names.

"Loopy Lupin!" Peter snickered.

We walked up the stairs and soon we were crashing into the common room. I laughed as Peter crashed into James and they laughed too. Suddenly the portrait hole opened and Loopy and Lily walked in.

"Hey Loopy," James sneered.

"Just shove off, will you?" Lily snarled back. I could feel the killing intent rolling off of the red-head in waves. I shuddered and hoped James wouldn't get too cocky and ended up getting injured. I wasn't looking forward for me and Peter having to drag him to the Hospital Wing.

"Like I said before Lily, you shouldn't hang out with things like _it_," James nodded at Loopy Lupin. I saw his eyes flash away and start blinking rapidly, until it was suddenly over. I must've imagined it—monsters can't cry right?

"What do you mean? Just because he's a—" Lily dropped her voice to a whisper. "_Werewolf_, doesn't mean you have to treat him like trash!" I felt a twinge of guilt until I remembered my mum's words. I didn't listen to her for many reasons, but I had eavesdropped on her and dad's conversation and I couldn't help but being afraid.

_"Yes, reports say he was ripped apart," Walburga Black said to her husband._

_"By a werewolf eh?" His dad said._

_"Horrible beasts. They're ruthless killers," she agreed._

_"Those mutts, I wonder why they're still allowed to have jobs. It's an accident waiting to happen," His dad said gruffly. _

_"If there's anything I know, I will make sure our sons are raised properly. No mixing with half-breed filth for them," Walburga said determinedly._

_"Yes, it's bad enough Andromeda decided to got off with that muggle man," he said._

_"Ah, back to werewolves. Society should hunt them down and kill them. They are monsters, no more, no less," Walburga snarled. "They tore that man to pieces, limb for limb. Barely enough for the medics to patch together."_

_I leaped from the door in horror. What were these monsters?_

"They are monsters. No more, no less," I said coldly, repeating my mother's words.

I stared menacingly into Lily's green eyes. Grey and green fire clashed together, in a fight of will.

A slam brought me out of the staring contest. I caught sight of the end of Remus—er—Loopy Lupin's robes and I could hear hiccuping noises from outside. Slowly the crying noises faded into the distance as he ran away from the common room.

Without my consent, my legs began moving, and all four of us rushed to the portrait hole and we saw nothing.

"The boy's upset," the fat lady said disapprovingly. She may just be a painting, but she liked to care for the students, no matter how annoying they were, and even though they never appreciated her opera. "Let him have time."

* * *

**Remus's perspective**

So that was it? That was the remains of our friendship?

Tears streamed down my face, and I couldn't stop them. They flowed—warm and steady, without stopping. All I knew was that I wanted to get as far away from them as possible. The people who caused this pain in me. Why couldn't I stop it? My chest hurt badly, but I wasn't bleeding. What was this . . . heart-ache?

The castle's walls blurred around me, and I ran around until I was lost. I looked around, tears drying on my cheeks. I saw the door that lead outside and I saw the Whomping Willow's waving branches. I ran outside, my shoes bouncing slightly in the soft mossy ground by the root of the tree.

I got a stick and prodded the gnarled root at the base of the trunk. The knot, once touched, froze up the tree and I went down into the tunnels. The place, which had always been known as my prison, was now my hideout—a place of quiet and peace. I passed the scarred walls, and the blood-stained floors. _My_ blood.

I stumbled in and walked up the stairs into the bed-room. I sat on the bed and laid down, staring at the old, creaking ceiling—the only part of the shack that was free of claw marks. I stared around the shack and I saw the chair that was sliced, the shredded curtains, and the crumbling plaster. This was all the proof—that I was a monster.

* * *

**Poor Remus . . . . Well, just like before, thanks for reading and please review about your response! **


	5. Forgiving is the hardest thing

**Okay, this story is going to end sometime soon, but I've decided I'm going to make it longer, due to I feel the story is too short. Hope you guys are liking it!**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**James's perspective**

Loopy was running away. . . no. I couldn't keep calling him Loopy—it was too cold.

Remus had run away because we had bullied him. Part of me argued against the moral part of me. _He's a _werewolf_—a monster, _part of me argued, _he deserved it._

_He's still a person, and we bullied_ him, the moral part of me counteracted.

_He's a monster, it's not bullying when your punishing a monster,_ the other part said.

_Monsters don't have feelings, but he was crying, _moral me argued.

_It was fake._ The other part of me sounded so convinced, I wondered if it was right . . . . Sure it was inhumane, but werewolves weren't human right?

_It didn't _seem _fake. _But then again, Remus had seem genuinely heart-broken at the words that Sirius, Peter, and I had said. We didn't even think about how it would affect him . . . .

_It was._

_Nuh-uh._

_Uh-huh._

"Aren't you going to help him?" Lily sharp voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "He trusted you," she said more quietly. "He _trusted_ you and you just tossed that away, and bullied him!"

"Oi, Evans, it wasn't that bad," Sirius said carefully. But I could tell that he felt guilty.

"_Sure_," Lilly scoffed, folding her arms in annoyance. "And he didn't just run off in tears." With that, she huffed in irritation and ran off in the hallway.

She was so determined to go after him. Was he _really _a monster? Sirius seemed convinced, and my parents had never really mentioned werewolves, but when they did they didn't use contempt. They were mostly used pity more like it. I remembered when we'd first met.

_"Hi. Is this compartment full? There's no where else to stay . . ." a young boy with hazel-colored hair and eyes. He shifted his bag on his shoulder uncomfortably, and I noticed there was a bandage on his arm. It was huge.  
_

_"Sure," I said. "I'm James Potter, this is Sirius Black."_

_The black curly-haired boy with grey eyes that was next to me waved. "Hullo."_

_The boy hesitated when he heard the name 'Black' but then he finally entered the compartment. "Remus Lupin." Wth that, he buried his nose in a book that I realized was 'Hogwarts a History'. How he could be reading that with all the beautiful scenery around was beyond me._

_Soon, a pudgy little boy walked in and his eyes darted around. "H-hello. Can you guys hide me? I'm running from some Slytherins . . . ."_

_"Peter! Come on! We haven't finished the jinx!" a fifth year Slytherin snarled and he walked to the entrance of the compartment. As his mouth opened and the first few syllables of a stinging jinx appeared, Remus thrust his book down and stood up, wand at the ready._

_"Stupify!" He yelled. The boy was shot back, and the three boys stared at him in awe._

_"T-thank you!" The boy cried in relief. "I'm Peter Pettigrew . . . ."_

_"Well, let's all be friends!" I swung my arms over their shoulders and I noticed Remus winced a little at the impact. "Are you okay? What's that scar on your arm?"_

_"Uh . . . I-I have a pet dog," Remus said quickly, covering his sleeve._

_"Rough one eh?" Sirius grinned._

_Remus smiled wryly, "Yeah."_

_"Well, thanks for saving me," Peter said, beads of sweat making its way down his forehead._

"_Yeah, you must teach me how to do that spell!" I said eagerly._

_"Me too!" Sirius whined like a child._

_"Okay, okay," Remus held up his hands in surrender. "So you raise your wand and flick like this . . . ." _

Shame flooded my being. Why would Remus hurt us? Heck, the first day he'd met us he saved Peter's skin from a _fifth year_ Slytherin. A _fifth_ year! I'd been so cruel to Remus . . . .

"Let's go," I said to Sirius and Peter. I would make it up to Remus. I owed him that. I smiled dryly as we ran through the corridors—it'd taken a girl to knock some sense into me. Then I knew, it wasn't just a childish crush—I wanted Lily to be with me. She was strong, smart, beautiful, and had done the right thing—she was perfect and I was smitten.

* * *

**Lily's perspective**

I hoped Remus hadn't done anything rash—the boys had beaten down on him pretty hard, and who knew what he would do? I looked back, the boys were running behind me at top speed. I couldn't help but toss a grin back at them—they'd finally come to their senses. If they actually came through, they'd be excellent friends for Remus. It'd be a while till I let them get close of course . . . .

I ran past open doorway and I froze when I saw something outside the doorway.

I backtracked and nearly ran into Sirius.

"Oi! Just because we were gits, doesn't mean you gotta ram into us and kill us!" He yelped and raised his hands in surrender. I smirked slightly, at least he was learning you didn't mess with my friends without something . . . lethal happening.

"Sorry, but look at the Whomping Willow . . ." I pointed at the twisting and shaking tree. It seemed to be on an edge. "Do you think Remus?" The tree, although I didn't spend my time dancing around it, was whipping around, but it seemed to be more fast—I'd call it jittery if it was a human.

"If your guesses are correct—that must be where he goes when . . ." James—er—_Potter_ trailed off.

"How do we get in though?" Sirius said, grey eyes eyeing the tree warily. I remembered faintly a boy had gotten too close and nearly lost an eye to the tree's limbs. My eyes scanned the mossy ground until . . . . The stick! It was tossed between a tall patch of grass where it wouldn't be obvious to see to a onlooker, but if you looked close enough you could see it.

I ran forward and ignored Potter's yell of '_Evans!'. _I picked up the stick, soft glass fronds tickling my palm, and looked for a place to wedge it in or something. Just then Potter ran forward and tackled me as a branch swept over my head, missing just barely. I felt like elbowing him in the gut, until I realized he had saved my head from rolling.

"T-thanks James," I stuttered.

He grinned, "Ah, now we're on first-name terms, _Lily_?"

My face heated up, with anger or embarrassment I couldn't tell, when I realized I had used his first name. "No Potter! Your still a git! Anyways, Remus . . ." I looked at the roots nervously. We had already noticed the entrance at the roots, which normally you wouldn't notice with the tree moving so much.

"Worth a try," Potter—James said. For the sake of my sanity I'd just call him James, I'd only call him that in my head of course—I _did_ have a certain amount of dignity and pride to uphold! "Well, there's a knot in the roots over there." He pointed at the root and I grasped the stick in my hands. Carefully, I leaned forward and touched the stick to the knot. Silence. The leaves stopped rustling and swishing around. The tree was quiet and nothing moved. The only thing that could be heard was the wind, rustling through the still leaves and branches.

I cautiously removed the stick and the tree was still frozen.

"Hurry! It must be only momentarily paralyzed!" Sirius warned. He threw me down the tunnel non-too-lightly and came down after me. Peter followed in a tumble, which was more of a fall, and James slid down just as the tree shook itself out and smashed a branch right where his body had been seconds ago.

"We're here," James said softly. He looked around at the gouges in the walls, and the blood in the floor. There was a musty smell from the dust particles floating around in the shack, and it mixed with the metallic scent of old dried blood. I shivered slightly, and as the shack creaked from the wind, it only increased the creepy vibes the place was giving off. How could Remus stand to be here?

"W-what _is_ this place?" I gasped softly. I heard soft cries at the end of the hallway and I raced up the stairs, all fears forgotten. Remus!

I slammed open the door and I saw Remus eagle-spread on the bed and my heart stopped. Was he . . . ? I heard more soft breaths from him and I relaxed—the whole shack was putting me on an edge. "Remus?"

I saw dried tear stains on his cheeks. "W-what?" He said. Even though his voice quivered, there was a undisguised coldness to his voice.

"Remus . . . mate. I know we have no right to," James started.

"But, we're really sorry," Sirius said, holding out his hands in a gesture for forgiveness.

"Yeah. I-I'm sorry too Remus," Peter apologized, but he still seemed on the edge after finding he was sleeping with a werewolf for two years. I felt like tutting disapprovingly—why couldn't he just accept Remus for who he was?

* * *

**Remus's perspective**

I stared at Sirius's outstretched hand. Should I take it? _Could_ I take it, after how they treated me?

_He seems genuine,_ the Wolf observed.

_Should I?_

All the times before, when I had taken the kids hands, they had just let go straight after to jeer at me. I didn't want to feel that way ever again. Never.

I looked at their hopeful faces and I felt the dark, angry, bitter part of me rouse. "Yeah. Your right."

Their faces lightened, how could they not realize the depth of the pain they had caused me? Did they really expect me to forgive and forget? I'd done that too many times. Too many. "I knew you'd come around mate—" Sirius's voice was cut off.

"Your right . . ." I chuckled, then my eyes narrowed, "You have _no_ right to come back and act like this never happened!"

If I was going to be a monster—I might as well be a good one that didn't cry and beg for mercy.


	6. Regret and forgiveness

**Chapter 6**

**James's perspective**

I took a step back nervously, and then stepped forward again.

This was _Remus_ we were talking about. The little boy who wouldn't hurt even a fly—literally. When there was a centipede in the dorm, Remus had insisted on taking it outside so it wouldn't be squashed by a freaked-out Peter. He wouldn't hurt us—his friends. Right?

_Are we his friends?_ a small part of me wondered. We had treated him like trash—I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't think of us as friends. I stared into his dark honey colored eyes and I saw they seemed to quiver slightly. Like he was about to cry.

"Remus . . ." I whispered. He was right, we had no right to act like nothing had happened.

His piercing gaze stabbed into me and he narrowed his eyes. "Yes?"

My heart clenched at his voice. It was so scarred and sad.

"I'm . . . we're . . ." I looked at Sirius and Peter. They nodded reassuringly. I plowed forward—"We're so sorry. Our first reactions were because of how we were raised," I tried to explain.

"I never thought I'd see the day, that Sirius Black used his so called hated linage as an excuse," Remus sneered. He stood up, brushed off his robes, and walked out, pace never slowing or quickening. The boy who had been crying for friends minutes earlier was gone—buried under a wave of bitterness that we had caused.

Just as his back was at the doorway I whispered softly, "I do hate it."

A slight pause.

Then I was shocked out of my daze by the footsteps as Remus continued out. Out and away from us. Out and away from our friendship.

* * *

**Lily's perspective**

A week into his constant torments from the monsters he used to call friends, Remus had come to me to unwind after a stressful day.

_His face was tired, and eyes slightly bloodshot, though if anyone else looked at him they would assume he was up studying late at night._

_But I knew more. I knew it was probably his dorm-mates that were keeping him up**—**purposely making loud noises at night, and flashing bright lights. His brown eyes had lost their sheen and he was trudging to the couch in the common room. "Hey Lily," He said. I felt my anger rise as I heard the weariness and strain in his voice.  
_

_"Remus, why don't you sleep in the common room?" I asked gently._

_"Prefects sometimes come down to check the common rooms, and they might find me," Remus fretted. "I don't want to have to explain why I'm sleeping on the couch." Although by this time, it was quite clear that something had happened between the boys, and they weren't friends anymore, but someone would question Remus being desperate enough to want to sleep on the couch in the common room—no matter how comfy it was._

_"It'll be okay Remus," I said softly, rubbing his slumped back. "It's worked out before, right?"_

_"No." He said in a hallow voice. Before I could ask why, he answered. "Every time I make friends . . . they find out or their parents find a way to isolate their children from me." he said quietly._

_I squeezed his cold, clammy hand in a gesture to continue, as well as to warm it. _

_"But it was worse with wizarding children. Their parents just automatically told their children to stay away from me . . ." Remus said. "They threw rocks at me, and yelled at me to go and run away. Their parents never told them what I was, but it was clear enough to them that I was not to be played with. My parents kept moving around, trying to find a cure—but it's impossible. Impossible as it is to change the wizarding world's heart about werewolves."_

_Impossible. Impossible. 'Nothing was impossible' as the muggle saying went. But, I couldn't tell Remus that. He would scorn the idea—after all, he was living proof that it was not true._

Now, Remus needed his friends. He needed Sirius, Peter, and James to step up and comfort him.

With a slam, my I shaken out of my thoughts, as the door to the shrieking shack was opened violently, and Remus exited it.

The boys had guilty looks on their faces. I felt the fiery strength surge through me and I raised my palm angrily. Three strikes resounded through the musty air of the shack.

"W-what was that for, Evans," James asked cheekily, but I could tell, underneath his cocky facade, he knew what it was for. And he was regretting.

"We should go after Remus—" I started.

Peter held out a arm, and I was surprised. Peter was not the type to stand up and do something. "Let him be," his voice shook slightly. "I-I'd want to cool down if that was me." My eyes widened at the emphatic reason to Peter's defiance.

I nodded in defeat wearily, as the adrenaline from slapping the boys, and seeing Remus so sad, disappeared. "Let's go to the common room."

* * *

**Sirius's perspective**

As we headed up the moving stairs, I felt a heavy feeling settle in my chest—guilt?

I recalled how we had reacted to him being a werewolf. How had we been so cruel, so mean, so . . . heartless? I'd been just as bad as my mum—last time I ever listened to _her_. In retrospect, I was an utter _idiot_ for listening to anything that hag had to say.

I waited numbly as I walked upstairs into the dorm, and I sat down in my bunk.

"So you came back?" a cool voice questioned. I turned to see Remus, leaning against the bed post on his bunk.

"Yes. What will it take to show you I'm sorry?" I pleaded. I heard soft thumps—footsteps. Peter and James walked in, and they both sat hesitantly on their beds.

"Why are you sorry?" Remus's bitter tone chilled me. "I'm a _monster_."

I winced, "Remus . . . we didn't mean that . . . ."

"You don't seem to mean a lot of thing Sirius," Remus said quietly.

"Remus, we _are_ sorry, and we _do_ regret what we said, but that doesn't mean you can treat Sirius like that!" James growled—I winced at his choice of words. Even if he had good intentions, I groaned, he did more bad than good.

"Hm? Why? You _all_ treated me like that!" Remus snarled. For the third time today, Remus stood up and exited the room. Maybe we were making the situation worse, but we couldn't stop trying to help. Remus was our friend, no matter how much he denied it. If only we could've just sucked up our own problems and accepted him.

* * *

**Remus's perspective**

What gave them the impression that they could act all sorry and I would go moping back to them?

_Nothing! They crushed our feelings—we'll crush theirs!_ the Wolf snarled revenge.

_They don't deserve to be our friends_, I growled in my mind.

_What have they ever done? They'll never prove themselves,_ the Wolf growled. _I actually raised my hopes that they might end up trusting me . . . ._

Even the Wolf had wanted friends. People to trust, to play with, to share secrets with. People, who, when in dark times, could be counted on. Maybe it was all just a foolish wish. This wasn't a fairy-tale where everything turned out and we lived happily ever after—no, this was _life_. And life, was a harsh thing that everyone had to endure through.

I stopped at the base of the Whomping Willow. The weak stands of glue I'd placed around my heart—my shattered, broken heart, unhinged and pieces fell into the darkness called depression. Reasoning departed me, and I felt a scary amount of _freedom. _No one cared about me. No one would miss me . . . .

I ran forward and a maniacal whoop of excitement escaped my throat. I dodged the tree limbs and we seemed to act as one, in a timeless dance. Nothing to touch me. The tree slammed a branch down, and I pivoted on the spongy, mossy ground, and avoided being squashed. I hopped onto a root, and ducked and weaved through the whistling branches that were trying—without success—to squash me.

I felt exhilaration flood through my being. This was amazing! I felt a grin, grace my face, and I hardly noticed the sweat making its way down my forehead. This dance, was like ice: perfect and cold.

A sharp yell cut through my being, "_Remus!_" I heard James yell frantically.

I ignored him, but it was too late—my concentration of senses had lapsed for a small fraction of a second, but it was enough. I turned around quick enough to see a branch that would surely detach my head from my shoulders.

A tackle came from my side that would make a professional rugby player proud—and I looked at James' dirt smudged face that was ginning. "Remus . . ." He smiled weakly and a metallic scent reached my nose.

_Blood!_ the Wolf warned. _It's a large amount and it's coming from the boy_. Usually the Wolf was as helpful as a fat mushroom—just sitting there in the consciousness of my mind, with a annoying comment always handy, but now, it seemed like he was really stepping up his game.

_Thank you . . . for being there . . ._ I murmured in my head. My eyes widened slightly at the thought—the Wolf was the proof of my lycanthropy—the reason I hated it so much. But, at the time of my darkest as it seemed, he'd become a real . . . friend.

The Wolf seemed to take up a sober attitude, _Look kid, I don't wanna be here any more than you want me here. I'm sorry about this_, the Wolf said. I felt surprised—in all the studies of werewolves, no one had really thought that the wolves themselves didn't like it. I smiled gently in my head, friends. Was that was James was? A friend? After so long, it was a foreign concept.

I looked down at James' side, and nearly gagged at the sight of a long, thing scar that tore through his robes and warm, scarlet oozed out. As the tree raised its branch once more I rolled to the side and dragged James with me as the branch made the ground next to me shake. Mustering the Wolf's strength, I heaved James up and threw him and Sirius.

I smiled in relief as James was safely caught. They were safe . . . my friends were—

A branch slammed down and hit me on the head. Darkness overtook me.

* * *

**A few hours later . . . .**

I looked up blearily, and I saw Sirius, Peter, and James' eager faces above me.

"What?" I groaned.

"He's speaks!" Sirius announced loudly, practically to the whole Hospital Wing. I chuckled and then I found my throat was dry, and my tongue felt like a swollen lump of mass in my mouth.

"Here," Peter said hurriedly, handing me a glass of cool water. I grabbed it and greedily drank it all.

I looked at James in concern, seeing the bandages that were under his robes. "Are you okay?" I asked.

He laughed, "Remus, I think we should be asking _you_ that. You nearly had an concussion according to Madame Pomfrey!"

"I'm sorry guys, I was being a jerk—" I winced as I tried to sit up. My vision swam and I shook my head to clear it—wrong choice. My headache increased and Peter's concerned face seemed to be magnified. What—?

After a few minutes the dizziness stopped and I relaxed.

"It's okay mate. We . . . weren't the greatest ether," Sirius said sheepishly.

"You know how you said about proving ourselves to be your friends?" James asked.

I felt guilt build up in me. "Sorry about that, you don't need to—"

"Well, I don't think we should do that—we're already closer than that," James continued.

I smiled tiredly, they were right though. We were closer than that. Much closer. Even though it cost quite a few brain cells, it had been worth it. Instead of three friends, I had gained something more precious. I'd gained family. I'd gained three brothers.

Three bickering, fighting, amusing brothers—but family nonetheless. And a good family at that.

**The End.**


End file.
